Misc

Spilling the Beans: Overheard at the Coffee Shop

In the last couple of months, I have found it both helpful and inspiring to do my schoolwork out of the home. A couple of times a week, I schlep myself down to the local coffeeshop, bringing my laptop, my textbooks – and some crossword puzzles for when I begin to hate life and need a break. I never thought I would be able to focus in a busy environment like that, but it´s actually nice to be able to zone out and think about something else.

Now, I´m very curious by nature, and sometimes I will (if people talk loudly enough) get sucked into people´s conversations. Fascinating stuff, let me tell you! So, here I am, sharing some of the gems with you! Here are three different conversations overheard at the coffee shop.

#Case 1: Two Teenage Girls With a Lot of Trials

Exchange 1:

– Okay, so there´s this new guy in my class, right?
– Right!
– And he´s so fucking odd, like-
– Ew!
– And like it couldn´t get any worse, he´s from SOUTHERN JUTLAND!
– Oh my god, poor you!
– I know right – what I have done to deserve this.

Poor thing! Should I have asked if she was okay? If she needed a taxi home? Damn, you always think about these things after.

Exchange 2:

– Okay, so my dad is, like, in his fourth relationship now-
– Oh my god, your dad is, like, such a fuckboy!
– I know right!
– And, like, no offense, but he´s not even tall
– I know right!

I have two questions here. 1) What´s fuckboy? 2) Would you refer to your friend´s dad like that? Answer in the comments!

#Case 2: Middle-Aged Divorcees on Their First Date

My favorite conversations to overhear are those occurring on a couple´s first date. These two (a man and a woman) I´m guessing met on the classic Dating.dk, where they had probably both written something on their dating profiles about “Wanting to find happiness again” and “Looking for someone who likes to have fun and loves life, like me!”. Except they both seemed absolutely miserable.

“You´re not meeting my daughter, you know!”

From what I could hear, 80% of the conversation was carried by her and 20% was him getting a word in when she was taking a breath. As for their conversation, they spent most of the time talking about their previous spouses; the woman in particular seemed to hold a lot of resentment towards both her ex-husband AND his new girlfriend. Amazing how much I know, right? The woman was very upset with how quickly her ex-husband had introduced their daughter to the new girlfriend, and the awkwardness of their conversation hit its climax when the woman finally said, “You´re not going to meet my daughter, you know. Not in two weeks, not in two months, not for a long time!”. The guy´s response was something like, “Uh, okay, no, I understand”. What is the right way to respond when somebody tells you can´t do something that you haven´t even asked if you can do? I understand being selective when it comes to whom you introduce your children to, especially when it comes to partners, but still.

When they (or rather she) weren´t talking about their exes, the woman was grilling the guy about why he didn´t want (or had) any children. “I just feel like I´m too old at this point – I´m 40 years old”, the guy said — to which she rather aggressively (but clearly in a voice she considered both flirtatious and playful) replied, “You should do it! You´re not too old! Come on!”. I thought she was going to offer him her womb right then and there. Something tells me this lady isn´t done having babies.

They left after a couple of hours, and my guess is that she´ll want to see him again and he´ll probably want to keep searching.

#Case 3: Young Hearts Run Free (Far Away From Each Other)

As we all know, middle-aged divorcees are not the only ones out there looking for love. A couple of weeks after I overheard some of the previously described date from hell, I happened to overhear parts of the conversation between another couple – also a man and a woman – who were also clearly on a first date. How do I know? Well they spent about ten minutes each doing a mini-presentation on themselves and their lives, and I don´t think you do that with old friends. Did they meet on Tinder? Or did they meet at that new dating site for highly-educated singles? Does it even matter? I guess not. She was a medical student, possibly working on her PhD (don´t remember, doesn´t matter), and he was an engineer. Zero chemistry, I´m telling you. Z-e-r-o.

“Well, you know, those Americans… you´re American? Oh.”

Once they were done describing what they did for a living (I´m pretty sure neither really understood what the other person did), they began to talk about Trump – who had yet been elected at this point. Don´t you miss those innocent times? We had no idea how good we had it. The guy said something (less than flattering) about Americans – turns out she was half-American. OOPS! Don´t you hate when that happens? My guess is that there won´t be a second date.

What further happened shall remain a mystery, as I had finished my Chai Latte at that point and was done doing my work. Yes, I actually managed to eavesdrop (is it eavesdropping when people are talking VERY loudly?) and do my work at the same time. I don´t know how I did it, either.

Hope you enjoyed this little insight into the lives of our fellow earthlings!

  • This is such a fun & unique concept for a series! Love it!

    • Thanks so much, Lisa! There´s a lot of material, that´s for sure! Haha